Saturday, September 11, 2010

" I'll come back when the owners are home "



'The font' has returned from Stockholm. The fridge is full of suspicious looking dried meats, dill has reappeared, big time,on the menu and a copy of Dagens Nyheter is lying on the hall table. Wilf is on his best behaviour, delighted that he won't have to face another night of my cooking and hoping that a stray elk sausage will come his way.

The painting is almost, but not quite, completed. Much thought and effort was required to stop the relentless drizzle of emulsion from coating my hair and brow in a patina of Farrow and Ball Old White . Finally , a Eureka moment. I raided 'the fonts' cupboard in the bathroom for one of those bizarre shower caps that hotels always provide for their permed guests. Five minutes of scrambling around amid old bottles of perfume and a prize example of 'Adlon Hotel Berlin 1998' headware was located . Hair and brow protected.

Progress, in the early stages, was rapid but a constant stream of visitors slowed me down. At one stage I came down the ladder, brush in hand, to see why Wilf was barking only to come face to face with a woman I'd never seen before. She'd opened the front gate and foolishly let herself in. One look at me, paint can in left hand, paint brush in right ,speckled shower cap on top and a 'Yale Ruggers' sweat shirt dragging along the ground and she retreated. I heard her call out in French as she scurried to her car : ' I'll come back when the owners are home'. Gone before I could even say hello. Guess the pretty clear inference was that I didn't look like an 'owner'.

Wilfs advice to avoid any possible embarassment. ' If ever you see her again claim it was your long lost twin brother Callum from Mull. On second thoughts make that your long lost twin brother Callum from Mull who's a bit simple and a tramp'.

15 comments:

  1. Dill? could have been tinned spume.

    Love the mental picture of the painting gear.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Kendra & Bella

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  2. Yep. It's definitely Move Over Madame Bay!
    Cheers, Gail.

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  3. I agree with Bouncing Bertie! I thought yesterday when I'd read your post that I had no doubt someone would stop by and see you looking very daper in your painting attire! :-)) The good news is, this lady probably won't recognize you next time she comes!

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  4. ya, cuz someone from Yale would NEVER do manual labor! No wonder she was so flaberghast! :)

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  5. Dis post made my mom laugh out loud today...

    Woofs and Licks,
    Maggie Mae

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  6. This is one of those times when imagination is so much funnier than any image a camera might capture! And no fear of her recognizing you sans shower capnand your Yale tent dress. Of course, Wilf may give you away...

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  7. Did you get your elk sausage, Wilf?
    Mandu

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  8. I'd claim that Madame Bay's twin brother had been over. That seems a lot more likely!

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  9. Today is a somber day -- but the image you painted of your paint-spattered self had me laughing out loud. You do have a gift!!! As someone said, no need of cameras. Hope the font appreciated your travails!

    xxx Joan

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  10. I think we all need a twin brother Callum from Mull. It would explain a lot! :)

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  11. An infamous story in my family history concerns the elegant lady who stopped her car one afternoon to ask my dirt-covered father if she could hire him as her gardener. One of his favourite life experiences. One of my mother's least.

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  12. I'm glad to be back - you have me laughing again. It's quite a vision... I like the twin idea a lot. I used it once to save myself embarrassment. I'm not sure that the person believed me...

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  13. This is totally something that would happen to me! Just when I look the worst is when someone would happen to stop by.

    Your house looks huge in that second picture.

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