Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The smelly ghost





After a hectic summer the village is emptying . At first light the French tourists from Rouen left the little whitewashed gite by the crossroads . At the chateau the German billionaires were packing cases into a fleet of large black limousines. Brunhilda wandered down to the gatehouse, propped herself up against the wall on her hind legs and barked at Wilf - half in proprietorial warning , half in farewell. On our way back from our morning walk the old widow gave me a plastic carrier bag of peaches and tomatoes . '' I know you're all alone at the moment " by way of explanation . Kelly , the hover dog, bounced around us . Wilf remaining completely oblivious to her presence.

The rickety old farmhouse has many peculiarities but one in particular stands out . It has started to develop unusual smells. Not all the time , never during the day, and only upstairs . In fact the smell only blossoms between midnight and four , and then only when the weather is calm. This olefactory phenomenon occurs maybe once every six weeks or so.

Going downstairs at one thirty to let Wilf out I noticed that the upper corridor smelt of vinegar . Last month it was mixture of carbolic soap and bees wax. The time before wet smouldering wood. Never strong enough to offend but just enough to let you know that the septic tank is up to no good . At breakfast this development is mentioned to Madame Bay who listens attentively with a peculiar, somewhat wide eyed , look on her face .

Ever practical , I ask our saintly Septaguenarian to check the cleaning cupboards to see if anything in there might be leaking . She leans across the table and touches my arm with her hand in much the same way a surgeon might impart bad news at a patients bedside . " M'Ongoose , M'Ongoose it is a presence ". Having imparted this news , twice , she then sits there , coffee cup steaming in front of her , one hand clasped to her decolletage , the other hand , motionless , index finger pointing skyward. This, I was not prepared for.

' The font ' will be back later today to deal with the peaches and tomatoes , our smelly ghost, and a part traumatised, part enervated Madame Bay.

24 comments:

  1. Hilarious post!!!! Something strange indeed is in the air....wonderful pictures by the way!

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  2. When reading this entry it took me back to a couple of weeks ago when both Scout and Freyja managed to corner a skunk (late at night, of course) in our fenced backyard! I can tell you two things: 1. the dogs smelled horrible 2. whatever skunk spray hits - it kills. My fall mums are toast!

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  3. Maybe she meant 'presents' and she's planning a big surprise party for yoj! :)

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  4. Just one photo pf Mdme Bay in her flowing chiffon would be a treat.

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  5. A ghost sound cheaper than a septic tank problem.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Kendra & Bella

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  6. Great - it's getting better every day! What does Wilf say to that? Love from Steaming Southern Italy Susanne, Daisy and Foxiie with love and cuddles for the prettiest polar bear

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  7. The old widow clearly did not understand the concept of the 'boys diet'!

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  8. At least the ghost isn't keeping you awake with a lot of noise!

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  9. Wilf llooks so handsome and happy as he looks over the garden wall! Love that photo!
    Could it be that someone is running a still, doing some home spirit making/ distilling in your area? The various odors could depend on exactly what is being distilled and during what phase you are smelling the odors. Because of lack of permit, this is being done in the overnight hours and the odors being emitted are getting trapped.Your spirits could actually be spirits.
    Either that or maybe one should look to what was served for dinner on the evenings the offending odor is noticed. Maybe someone is having problems with their digestion.

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  10. oh kari!! that someone only has "problems" with his digestion when he's sitting underneath the dining table surrounded by guests who are obnoxious know-it-alls! lol.
    i LOVE the picture of him looking over the wall.
    i'm thinking maybe madame is trying out different cleaning products? and then the exact humidity or conditions make their scents more noticeable ...
    not nearly as romantic as a smelly ghost!
    love and hugs,
    tammy j
    ps i'm glad the font will be home. i must be like wilf... feel better when you 3 are one.

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  11. Wilf would like to point out that the dog looking over the wall is Brunhilda.

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  12. I had no idea that Ghosts smelled of carbolic soap and vinegar...who knew? :-) Comforting to know that Madame Bay is on top of such things.

    I agree with Kari - if something smelly is "a brewing" late at night, all signs point towards a nearby still...or your septic system. Let's hope it's a still which will be far more fun than a dicey septic tank. PS: Wilf is so very handsome today!

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  13. If it isn't one thing it's another with your wonderful old farmhouse. A smelly ghost is better than a mean one. ;) Hugs for Wilf.

    Blessings and Love,
    Janelle and Maggie Mae

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  14. I think you just guaranteed that Madame Bay will never clean the upstairs hallway again! Are you certain that it's not a sign that some aliens have been studying your house, though? Perhaps you ought not mention that to her...

    I love that fence that's being barked over!

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  15. Brunhilda is cute and I think trying to swoon Wilf.....:)
    xoxo

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  16. I'm sure the singing goatsherdess could charm it away

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  17. Can you hear me laughing across the ocean? I can imagine that you had absolutely no idea how to reply to Madame Bay. I'm glad that the font is coming to the rescue!

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  18. Brilliant, funny post.....it made our day. All the best to Wilf.

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  19. oh wilfee! cannot believe i mistook my favorite wee gentleman for another... a female at that!
    so sorry! special hugs. (but she is cute)
    remorsefully,
    tammy j

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  20. Perhaps you could ask the "Presence" if it would mind perhaps emitting the smells in the middle of the day, that way sleep would not be interrupted by acute odors! Excellent post!

    Keep on going Wilf, handsome boy!

    With love from your Canadian pals,
    Dianna along with Tor, Willow and Tucker

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  21. Yes I agree I have heard ghosts or presences leave smells this must be the case. Either that or your septic system needs cleaning.

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  22. She may have something there Angus. I was a skeptic before we moved into Menagerie Manor and met "Lucy" I Posted about our history with her and have become a believer. Check out 9/04/10 to 9/10/10. I love the photo of Wilf standing at the wall voicing his opinion

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  23. Are we too practical to believe in the "presence?" We're thinking chemical products or the septic system. Sorry, Mme. Bay!

    xxx Joan

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