It's taken Wilf all of half an hour to work out that ' the font ' has headed off for a week to look after the family . Not even the prospect of lying in the long cool grass with his latest toy can compensate for the thought of a prolonged stretch in the culinary wilderness with Angus as chef . He's settled down by the front door , looking decidedly mournful , clearly hoping that a sausage delivery man will magically appear . His Monday morning philosophy , " Fill what's empty . Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches " .