Monday, September 6, 2010

What's a Spanx girdle ?


Pitch dark at 6.30 this morning, another sign of the fast approaching change in seasons. Wilf was determined to sleep on and went through his patented - I'm invisible, I'm deaf, I'm not here - routine before finally following me outside. By the time he'd clambered into the back of the car - ' Give me a hand up will you?' and we'd driven the ten kilometres into town he was raring to go. The cafe on the market square has opened up again after its summer break and Wilf was delighted at the restoration of his normal routine. He sauntered to his usual table to a chorus of 'Bonjour Welfee' from the peroxide haired waitress and the early morning beer and absinthe set. A bowl of water was set down and soon all that was visible was the end of his nose and the tips of two paws poking out from under the table.

In the newsagents window a pile of Tony Blairs memoirs. 'The font' only got our English language copy on Thursday and here it is already translated into French and on sale in the little market town. As Wilf watched the grim faced children being dragged off to the start of a new school term by equally grim faced parents , I read the morning paper. The French fascination with 'la famille Palin' is once again evident. At the bottom of the front page a article informs me that the former governess spent $3000 on Spanx girdles. 'What's a Spanx girdle?' I asked Wilf. " Don't bother me I'm invisible" came the reply.

16 comments:

  1. Maybe it's something that a dominatrix wears! :)

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  2. Thorough research reveals that a Spanx girdle is an item of clothing normally categorised as 'shapewear'. And Angus, please do not feel excluded or discriminated against. An internet advert assures me that the product is also available for men, at least those who have the following concerns:
    "Does your beer belly hang low? Does it wobble to and fro?"
    Cheers,
    Gail (who recommends riding a bicycle and walking the dog for keeping the body in shape. Of course it helps if the dog walk does not include a cafe and multiple croissants!)

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  3. spanx girdles are things that women wear to stop breathing properly just to look good :D

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  4. Glad the routine has returned! Where did the early morning beer and absinthe set go while the cafe was closed? Rehab? :-)

    I did see in the news that a Vanity Fair article claims that “Sarah got Spanxed in Pittsburgh" using campaign funds! ...another scandal...

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  5. Laughing over my coffee today. Yes indeed Angus, you had to know a portion of your female readership would weigh in on the Spanx topic. The shapewear discription should also include: "Something a woman would typically purchase for a special occasion, at great expense, that when donned makes you appear not unlike a strangely smooth and overstuffed sausage that sweats profusely" Good times.

    Buzzy McDuff sezs "Gail and Bertie have it right Mom - more walkies means less torment from founation garments!" Arrrroooos.

    Yankee Gal

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  6. First off, drop the "girdle" as this is 2010, not 1950! I think my dear Mom was the last woman to faithfully tug on a girdle every day, even in stifling South Carolina summers. That said, the Palin creature (can you guess my poliycal leanings?) probably wore them to literally "guard her loins." I swear they are bullet-proof.

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  7. It sounds like Wilf feels the same as I do about the darkness of fall/winter. Funny, you all hear more about the Palin's than I do. Perhaps I have selective deafness? Girdles for $3000? Oh my.

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  8. I heard Oprah rave about Spanx one day on her show, so they must be great. She should know.

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  9. *snicker* Spanx girdles are a torture device to try to keep women's hourglass figures! Why everyone is so fascinated with Palin boggles my mind.

    We've definitely appreciated the change in seasons here!

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  10. At least the French have the good sense to label them correctly. Here in the states they are simply called "Spanx" and seem to masquerade as just another form of basic underwear. I am not fooled. My mother wore girdles and I know one when I see one. Tell Wilf it is much, much easier... not to mention more comfortable... to just lay off the extra sausage.

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  11. For some questions, it is best to remain invisible.

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  12. Sooooooo funny! Seems like $3,000 = a lot of undies!

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  13. Oh gosh do they still talk about Palin over there? Here in Alaska she's kind of on the outs.

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  14. I think I saw one of those yesterday....a neck to knee job..flesh coloured thing. My first thought was of the 50s AND lets face it, we don't have the climate for it!

    Love Wilf's take on life.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Kendra & Bella

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  15. Hmm, since the French are so seemingly obsessed with the Palin's, I say you can have them!

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