The mad hatter

Sunday afternoon. Time to go and do something Lutheran and educational. After lunch 'the font' checked the 'what's on' listings and settled on an organic produce fair in a local village . At four o'clock there was to be a lecture on asiatic hornets and their nesting habits. There was also a tasting of organic beer so my enthusiasm for the venture immediately went from zero to a hundred in two seconds flat.

While 'the font' headed towards the lecture I went to the beer tent. That age old line "you go ahead darling and get a seat near the front I'll be with you in a moment " never fails. As it turned out I'd have been better going to the lecture on asiatic hornets. The biological beer tasted very biological. It was flat, alarmingly opaque and had an aroma of soap, or worse. Unlike most beers it didn't improve the more you tried.

While waiting for 'the font' to emerge from the lecture I wandered round the fair, happily snapping the biological folk and their organic stalls with the camera on my cellular phone. I'd just snapped this hat stall when a very irate lady emerged from behind the display and started to shout at me. " Hadn't I seen the no photograph signs ?" ' Well, no I hadn't '. This proved to be the wrong answer and generated a torrent of invective, arm waving and shrieking. I apologised profusely every way I knew and offered to buy a hat but the shrieking just went up an octave and continued. When beset by exceedingly angry French women there is only one thing to do - stop speaking French and pretend you only speak Swedish.

On leaving the lecture tent 'the font' was immediately able to pinpoint my whereabouts by the raised voices ( well raised voice - I couldn't manage to get a word in edgeways ) and the crowd that had gathered round to watch the show. As we scurried back to the car, obscenties following us, I did my best to explain why I was speaking Swedish to a bizarre , acerbic, emotionally charged woman in a calico shroud . 'The font' gave me that look as if to say ' I only left you alone for thirty minutes'. What earthly reason can there be for not wanting to have your hat stall photographed ? Perhaps people steal her designs ? Anyway,what is an organic hat ? Why get so het up ?

Back in the safety of the garden we noticed that one of the trees was weighed down with a display of bright red, cherry like fruits. Cherry plums. I'd like to say they were delicious but in all honestly they'd make a perfect accompaniment for the organic beer.

Through it all Wilf sits in the courtyard enjoying the shade, ever ready for someone to throw the ball for him. This morning he is watching me trim the wisteria which has gone into overdrive after all the recent rain.