Monday, July 5, 2010

The mad hatter





Sunday afternoon. Time to go and do something Lutheran and educational. After lunch 'the font' checked the 'what's on' listings and settled on an organic produce fair in a local village . At four o'clock there was to be a lecture on asiatic hornets and their nesting habits. There was also a tasting of organic beer so my enthusiasm for the venture immediately went from zero to a hundred in two seconds flat.

While 'the font' headed towards the lecture I went to the beer tent. That age old line "you go ahead darling and get a seat near the front I'll be with you in a moment " never fails. As it turned out I'd have been better going to the lecture on asiatic hornets. The biological beer tasted very biological. It was flat, alarmingly opaque and had an aroma of soap, or worse. Unlike most beers it didn't improve the more you tried.

While waiting for 'the font' to emerge from the lecture I wandered round the fair, happily snapping the biological folk and their organic stalls with the camera on my cellular phone. I'd just snapped this hat stall when a very irate lady emerged from behind the display and started to shout at me. " Hadn't I seen the no photograph signs ?" ' Well, no I hadn't '. This proved to be the wrong answer and generated a torrent of invective, arm waving and shrieking. I apologised profusely every way I knew and offered to buy a hat but the shrieking just went up an octave and continued. When beset by exceedingly angry French women there is only one thing to do - stop speaking French and pretend you only speak Swedish.

On leaving the lecture tent 'the font' was immediately able to pinpoint my whereabouts by the raised voices ( well raised voice - I couldn't manage to get a word in edgeways ) and the crowd that had gathered round to watch the show. As we scurried back to the car, obscenties following us, I did my best to explain why I was speaking Swedish to a bizarre , acerbic, emotionally charged woman in a calico shroud . 'The font' gave me that look as if to say ' I only left you alone for thirty minutes'. What earthly reason can there be for not wanting to have your hat stall photographed ? Perhaps people steal her designs ? Anyway,what is an organic hat ? Why get so het up ?

Back in the safety of the garden we noticed that one of the trees was weighed down with a display of bright red, cherry like fruits. Cherry plums. I'd like to say they were delicious but in all honestly they'd make a perfect accompaniment for the organic beer.

Through it all Wilf sits in the courtyard enjoying the shade, ever ready for someone to throw the ball for him. This morning he is watching me trim the wisteria which has gone into overdrive after all the recent rain.

20 comments:

  1. Sounds like Wilf had the better afternoon.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Kendra & Bella

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  2. So I guess it's fitting to say that the hat lady was "mad as a bag of frogs!" But you are right, "mad as a hatter" does fit much better! I've been to events like this where they don't want you to take pictures--They are afraid you are a spy and your intentions are to steal their designs and make them your very own. At any rate, it got you out of that lecture!

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  3. I had to enlarge the photograph so I could see which hat I thought you'd choose and I wonder what the hat lady would think if she knew you posted the picture on an international blog!!

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  4. Hoo boy, Angus. You humans sure do get yourselves in trouble at the drop of a hat. BOL! I kill myself sometimes!

    wags, Lola

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  5. Ah, M'ongoose, what sweet revenge! "So you don't want me taking photos of your organic hats, huh? Well in that case, I'm going to post my contraband photo on my internationally followed blog!"

    Don't trim the wisteria back too much. It's just too beautiful. And if yours is like our New York species, it doesn't seem to bloom very long before it turns the street into a pool of pale lavender petals...

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  6. i love the "font's" comment: i only left you alone for 30 min! funny stuff!!
    Wilf looks very content with the ball in his mouth..
    xoxo

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  7. Love the photo of the "no photography" sign. Maybe the hat up het lady had been bitten by a hornet?

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  8. I thinks that hanging out with Wilf would have been the thing to do if I was there... :)

    Woofs and Licks,
    Maggie Mae

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  9. Oh, sweet revenge! Her hats are now posted on the internet! I tip my hat to you, it's something I would have done. It looks like the sort of place Madame Bay might shop. Perhaps you should ask her if she knows the milliner. Somehow, I don't picture you as the sort who looks like he'd steal hat designs and begin manufacturing them in his farmhouse basement. I'm quite surprised that the ploy of pretending you only speak Swedish didn't help! Good thing Madame Bay and The Poolman weren't there!

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  10. You have me chuckling out loud here in Colorado. The hat lady sounds completely wacky and hysterical! Maybe she has a phobia of photographs? In any case, I think that the Swedish trick was perfect.

    Mad Hatter!!!! :)

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  11. I love your stories! Thank you.
    Carrie

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  12. That little camera with the red line through it in the center made me laugh out loud. Between you and me, those hats might just benefit from some rule-breaking.

    Wisteria. Lucky you!

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  13. In cases like that, you should pretend only to know one word. And it sure isn't RICH!

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  14. LOL I can see the No Photo sign from your picture...what are you like. Probably too interested in the wonderful hats on sale !! Sue

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  15. Seems to me that the hat lady was as mad as a bag of frogs! Her hats are not THAT fabulous anyway....

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  16. I'm wondering just how many languages you speak?!

    I love that you posted that lady's hats online after she screeched at you like that. Excellent revenge!

    Sounds like Wilf probably had the better afternoon.

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  17. When I think of the kind of chapeau worn by a French lady, I definitely do not think of any of those on exhibit. Perhaps the "no photographs" policy is more to avoid embarrassing criticism that design thievery.

    xx Joan

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  18. i enlarged the hat picture to look at it before i read your post, and i saw the camera with the red line through it. i just knew there was going to be some entertaining story to follow. haha. that hat lady sounds crazy. why on earth would she care about having her hats photographed? as several others have already mentioned, the hats aren't that special!
    wilf looks adorable as usual. i hope he got some good ball throwing time in after the wisteria trimming. :)

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  19. I saw the tiny sign(only AFTER i went back to look for it). HA! what a nut she is. you so can get yourself into trouble! keep it up! :)

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  20. This post made me giggle, sounds like a 'movie' not to be missed! I just bought a wisteria...trying to get a little of France in my backyard...

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