Time for Wilfs routine , fortnightly , undercarriage wash . To put it delicately , the flow is strong but the aim is poor . By the end of every second week his paws and nether regions are beginning to develop a senior dog smell . While I run the bath he segues into his invisibility act . Cleverly , he hides himself under the library table . This is a position that requires me to get down on my hands and knees to coax him out . It also means that it's physically impossible to develop the leverage needed to pick him up . Finally , with the aid of a piece of roast chicken , he's extracted and carried into the bathroom . He gets another piece of roast chicken as a reward after the event . The worldly wisdom of an old dog . " It's better to burn out than fade away " .