Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Clot or clod ?



Tuesday afternoon and a white Peugeot van sweeps into the courtyard. Out steps Claude , ( he pronounces it Clod ), the trendy, thirty something tree surgeon. He's wearing a day-glo orange jump suit, a matching hard hat and what appears to be a parachute harness. As he greets me I can't help but notice that he has abnormally large, hairy, hands. It's a bit like a hand shake with a harris tweed covered dinner plate. Perhaps it's a useful simian trait for climbing trees. Wilf barks at Claude and carefully christens each of the vans tyres. The front offside one, no less than three times. No doubting who the boss is around here.

Claude looks at the fallen limb. He looks at the tree. He makes strange glottal noises - half hum, half word as he works. " They'll need to come down " he finally says, pointing to three branches brushing the roof of the barn. ' Can you do it now ?' I innocently ask as he clambers back into his van. " No way. It's too windy. I'll send you a quote . It's the woodpeckers " he cheerfully replies, heading off down the drive with a wave of the hand. After a year in the rickety old farmhouse I know that the word 'quote' is the French shorthand for ' this will be expensive '. Wilf looks at me. " Was his name clot or clod ? " he seems to say.

21 comments:

  1. Then why was he riding around in his parachute harness???

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  2. Claude van damme lookalike? or probably just a clot..

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  3. Hi Angus, make sure Wilf barks at Claude (clod) doubly next time...in case the "quote" is astronomical.

    Stormy..

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  4. Good for Wilf, putting the young whippersnapper in his place.
    When we had a problem with our branches falling on the neighbour's haricots verts (quel domage) l'arboriste turned up after a few months to rescue us from her fury but forgot to send us the bill for over a year, so at least we had time to save up.

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  5. Expensive, yes probably. I think the mistake is allowing someone to call themselves a 'surgeon' for a job that basically involves chopping branches off trees (not rocket science after all....)
    Cheers! Gail.

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  6. Oh dear.....more expense. But we can't wait until he comes up against Madame Bay.

    Hope he remembers Jaffa cakes, if he gets the job.

    XXXOOO Daisy, kendra & Bella

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  7. I guess another question may be will 'Clod or Clot' remember that he needs to get a quote to you and get the work done?

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  8. Good Wilfie - having everything under control in his house - so does mine - he is the boss - no doubt there... Happy to read nothing about health issues means hopefully the little polar bear is doing fine!
    Love from Southern Italy Susanne Daisy and Foxxie

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  9. once again you give me my early morning chuckle! i can still "see" the hairy hands...wonder how much this will cost to take down the branches?!
    xoxo

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  10. The dreaded quote - ah, the life of living in a rickety old farmhouse - I know it well!

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  11. First Mssr. Risotto and now Clot! You have the best named characters in France profunde. I'll keep my fingers crossed that the quote isn't too painful!

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  12. Goodness; over here in the states a man wearing a day-glo orange jump suit in broad daylight would signify he's an escaped convict...or flirting with the authorities regarding his fashion choices! It would almost certainly guarantee he'd be picked up and questioned. Love the French. Hugs to Wilf.

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  13. Ah, once upon a time I was married to a "clod." Fortunately sans large hairy hands!!!

    Have you seen -- or heard -- any of the woodpeckers your Clod tried to blame for the weakened tree limbs?

    I'm still puzzled that neither of my Boyz has the tire (tyre) christening gene. Yesterday Jake had ample opportunity but was not interested. It's all for the best and good relations with the neighbors, I suppose.

    Scritches for Wilf!!!

    xxx Joan

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  14. My gosh - he zooms in and he zooms out - a little like a super hero - or - maybe the antagonist? Can't wait for the rest of the story☺

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  15. Just have to love the hair on Wilfie's muzzle today. The way his hair protrudes forward like horse blinders reminds me of Formula One barge boards, designed (in this instance) to guide air into that big black button of a sniffer...

    It makes sense that Clod would wear a parachute harness, since he was only dropping in. Hope it is a low quote -- knock on wood. Of course, that is purportedly what the woodpeckers did.

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  16. Not confidence inspiring, is he? But I guess, living in a small village, you don't just go and call another from the list. Have you seen woodpeckers, as Jake of Florida said ? Or is it a cross branch that had previously been broken and died? Any way, you are the new commers in town.. I am sure this gent will " test the waters" to see what outrageous sum he can get away with. Ask Madame Bay what you should be paying for the job.. She will handle him! Oh, yes, she will!

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  17. That is quite the tree branch isn't it? Hopefully the "quote" won't break the bank. Send the bill to the woodpeckers....

    Handsome today Wilf! Love your hair! Keep going darling boy....

    Your pals from the slightly melty Canada,
    Dianna along with Tor, Willow and Tucker

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  18. Your description of Claude's hands made me smile :) Hugs for Wilf!

    Blessings and Love,
    Janelle and Maggie Mae

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  19. Definitely "clod"! I'm glad that Wilf told him who's the boss. That'll keep the quote down.

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  20. I love your sense of humor and writing it's just wonderful to come here and see how you interrupt life in your own few words.

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  21. Angus...do you ever miss a detail? Have you written your book yet? Between "Clod's" hands and the gutteral noises he made, we were howling....

    You see everything and as Nan above says, it's your interpretating of life that makes us smile...

    Kisses to Wilf!

    Mumsie and the kids!

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