Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Wilf and Digby find interest everywhere.

France is a country that has rules and regulations for absolutely everything . It is part of the republics inbuilt DNA that each and every eventuality must be legislated for. It therefore comes as a surprise to discover that as a nation of safety freaks they seem to be quite happy to have their fuel oil stored inside the house. In the rickety old farmhouse we call home 5000 litres of heating oil rubs shoulders with the boiler and the downstairs kitchen. In insurance terms this is roughly the equivalent of re-fuelling a jet fighter while smoking a pack of Gaulois - one spark and you're a goner.

Our wish to move the smelly old fuel tanks outside into the garden and lessen the risk of immolation was met with total incomprehension. Planning officials would look across their desks in complete stupefaction. We would have had a warmer response if we'd suggested building a 300 metre tall revolving statue of Homer Simpson. Now, after months of discussions over drainage, ground water conditions, insulation standards and access points the approvals have come through. At seven this morning the team arrived to begin the installation. A large mechanical digger, two white trucks and a team of seven have delivered a huge fuel tank. Like enraged worker ants they have been digging away and have excavated a hole five metres deep and four metres across. The only problem is that the hole isn't where it is supposed to be. Oh, and did I happen to mention they've uncovered the main drainage pipe ?

'The font' has sensibly chosen today to head back to London to look after Grannyfont. It goes without saying that for Wilf and Digby the hole, the digger, and the precariously stowed fuel tank are the most interesting things in the world. This morning I have already learnt that the French word for seepage from a tank is infiltration. By the end of the day the list of words in my French vocabulary is likely to be much greater.

***** Breaking News ****** - The dreaded knock on the door. The head hocho standing there. 'Profound apologies but the digger has broken the drainage pipe'. More, possibly much more , tomorrow. The boyz of course think that Christmas has come early - smells, and lots of them ! Humans worry about smells - dogs just love them. Way to go .


  1. Oh my goodness!! Are you sure that you wouldn't rather have had the statue of Homer Simpson? I do hope this latest "glitch" is easily resolved!! At least the Boyz are happy about it...

  2. oh geez! sounds like you are in for an interesting and smelly day!

  3. Hilarious! I absolutely love your dry wit! However, I seriously hope all turns out well. In Oklahoma, breaking the drainage pipe would not have elicited such mannerly apologies. More like profane excuses. So, one brownie point awarded the French today!


  4. Zoot alors!!! We think your expanded vocabulary will include much stronger words by the time this latest drama is over.

    In the meantime,

    Wirey woofs of compassion.

    Jake and Just Harry

  5. Hey there Mongoose
    Sounds like you have your hands full! Building operations...mmmm...I'd rather move...had my fair share!
    I commented the other day, but perhaps it didn't go through - or you chose to delete (?)
    Just said...beautiful, incredible, descriptive writing...don't you want to write my book?

  6. Oh wow! I'd say that you're in for learning some very colorful French today! I hope you have some good spirits saved away for later. You are likely to need them!

  7. I was worried about that all the way through. Drat. You are in for a most interesting day, I fear. Fortunately the boys will have a ball. All day.
    Thinking of you!

    Could you perhaps place the oil tank inside a revolving statue of Homer Simpson? That might please everyone.

  8. Wilf and digby

    what luck!!!
    It seems all the fwustwations fow youw hoomans awe making life bettew and bettew fow you. Isn't it gwand to be a doggy???

    Mommi says, she would have a total meltdown dealing wif that boowocwocy, but living whewe you awe might just be wowf it

    smoochie kisses

  9. Looks like the circus has come to town. Hope you won't have to use your new words any time soon.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Kendra & Bella